Has anyone else struggled with sex after settling down in an amazing relationship when you were once a rabid slut?
Background: Me(M26) and my bf(M29) have been together for a year and a half. Random hooking up on and off for a few years before we made it official. We are great together in almost every area, except sex….and it truly comes down to me.
When I am out of a relationship, I can basically get with anything that walks at a moments notice (not too picky😂). I’m into a lot of stuff but typically end up a little more dom when with a guy.
I legit CANNOT get myself to connect with my fun sex side when in a relationship after a couple months. Yea there’s childhood sa trauma and all that but i feel like i’ve processed and healed from that stuff. I cannot stay hard with my bf and it makes me feel like a piece of shit. I love him, I really do. And he’s very kind and never gets on me for it (my last ex did) and for that I am so grateful. But I want to pleasure him and every time I try, I end up soft.
Ex: I love being verbal, choking, and such but it’s so hard for me to picture doing that to him in bed, and then turning around and being lovey.
I realize I probably brought this on myself by being such a slut and always being “in control” of when I’m hooking up/what we’re getting into. Thinking about sex therapy.
Any ideas, similar experience and what helped, or advice?