I don't have friends in real life. I only have one, but she is graduating soon and will move out of this state. I have online friends, ones I made from gaming, but.. they are online. I can't physically meet them yet.
I am an introvert, but sometimes I just want to hang out with someone. I wanted to watch the Michael Jackson movie so badly, but I couldn't find anyone to go with me. I could have gone alone, but my mother didn't allow that. I haven't hugged anyone ever. I just want to know, how can I make people to like me?
It's not that I don't approach people. I always do, if I find someone, I try to maintain contact. I am in college right now, and I only have one friend, but we are not that close because she has other best friends. Also, I have weird mannerisms. I can't hold eye contact while talking, I talk too fast and skip words... I practice speaking slowly at home but it all vanishes when I am outside face to face with someone. I see other people posting stories of their close friends, them having fun together. I am feeling quite emotional these days, and it hurts that I can't share my feelings with anyone.
I am also aroace, and I plan to not marry in the future. I am aware that I need a good support system for the future.. good women friends, but I feel like such a loser. I just can't connect with anyone, I believe people find me weird. It really, really hurts. What should I do? I am 20, and I am so angry with myself.