Has anyone experienced this?
I f(22) am now 5 months pp and suffering with constant thoughts of death.
The other day I finally broke down to my mom asking for help because I felt like I was drowning myself into a depression with these thoughts.
She told me “hija you’ve always suffered from that”.
It’s now 4:37 a.m and I’m reflecting on when death has been something intense for me and I’m like WTF…. Since a KID I’ve gone in a spiral over death. I guess just with time I learned to get over it and left it at the back of my head. And now with the pp hormones, everything is just back but 10x more intense. (I forgot that as a kid a suffered from the thoughts of death, throughout teenage years I did suffer a lot until I trained my mind over time to stop. I finally did. Now fast forward 6 years… it’s happening all over again)
I can’t get over the fact that one day we won’t be back. Everything we love and experience will no longer be at hands reach. We’ll be resting for an eternity, and knowing that TERRIFIES me.
Yes I’m aware it’s part of life and there’s nothing we can do, yes I’m aware I’m still young and shouldn’t be worrying about that. yes I’m aware it could be a phase (it’s not), yes I’m aware “why would I want to live in this world when so much bad exists” ect ect.
why do I have this mind obsession and how to I get rid of it. Has this happened to anyone else ? I can’t live the rest of my life dwelling on these thoughts now that I’m aware that I’ve already have been doing it, it’s not healthy and it’s stealing me from actually being present. Why do I suffer so much on the topic ? Sometimes I think maybe I was killed too young in my past life and it traumatized me so hard that it stuck to me in this one lol.
I would prefer someone older to answer and no ignorant, mean, or off topic comments please.