u/EfficiencyStriking38

Hi all! Reddit recommend me this sub while I was looking up technical outdoor activity related topics lol. I guess maybe I mentioned enough times about no longer being ignored or something.

I don't consider myself ugly. I think I look clean, healthy, and that's all I really care about appearance-wise. Although I've had many in the past made not-so-kind comments about my looks, which I can't do anything about and unwilling to do anything about to please their eyes.

I've read a few posts in this sub about being ignored and I 100% resonate with. It makes it super hard when new at something and want to learn more, or trying to get into community for group activities. If no one gives a chance then it's really really hard to start! I must say there were instances I see good-looking people get included right away as newbies, while on the other hand I'm trying to offer what I can and willing to do and get no responses.

So since I want to do all these awesome outdoor activities, I did whatever I can to learn and get experiences. I pay full price for coaches and instructors. I buy my own gear. There were times when I went out myself and do things myself so I can get some numbers in, and get fast at these activities. I even rock climb outside by myself because I couldn't get anyone to belay me lol. One time I legit had a good looking person asked me "You had to pay $300 to learn this??" Another time I had another good looking person accusing me "You must be picky with what group you want to get in! Because there are so many groups and people to do things with!" (obviously she had a different experience because all those groups had ignored me when I was new).

I just stuck it out, kept doing what I can, picked up other under-dogs if/when I encounter them. Learn well, go fast, try hard. Whenever I get (very rarely) a chance to join up with experience people and prove myself, I put in 100%. Overtime I started to earn a bit of okay reputation and a lot of experiences. I am thankful for whoever gave me a chance and let me be their teammate and friend. I have built fairly solid skillsets and some friendships through this long and hard journey. I am now about even playfield (if not more experienced than) with the really good looking people who were picked up by multiple experienced groups right off the bat because I put in extra effort.

Anyhow, that's my rant/story. I guess I just want to share... not having conventional attractive look is not the end of the road. Sure some of us may have a slower and harder start, but with effort, we can get places, and the right people will eventually see through the superficial and recognize true skills and knowledge.

When I ask or offer if anyone would like to join me in doing something, no one was interested. But after I've gone and done it myself, all of the sudden people are saying they want to do it and would love to have joined.