Friendship ended and got super messy. I’m trying to move forward.
For reference my best friend of 2 years was 10 years older than me. Many people told me they thought it was weird, but as someone in their early 20s I thought it was cool to hangout with someone older and have a “older sister” friendship.
We started having problems months ago, she got a new friend her age and completely pushed me to the side. I get that she wanted older friends, and I always told her how happy I was for her to have new friends because I know a 30 year old doesn’t want to be around a 20 year old all the time. I was genuinely happy for her.
I hung out with them both a couple of times, and it was fun. It ended up getting to the point where I felt I was being ignored, which I didn’t appreciate.
My friend would leave me on delivered/read for 4-5 days at a time, sometimes even almost 2 weeks. I told her I was feeling like she wasn’t putting in effort to communicate with me, and she just told me she had been depressed so I tried to be understanding.
The funny thing is though, she would send me messages or post on social media her messages with her new friend. She would post a screenshot on social media talking about how funny her new friend is, while i’m delivered for a week or two.
I started keeping my distance to avoid getting my feelings hurt, I just stopped reaching out, and there were a bunch of other things that happened (just little petty things) which made me want to distance myself from her anyways.
I stopped reaching out and didn’t hear from her for almost a month, meanwhile she’s posting a lot on social media and etc. Then, i’m at home and get immediately added to a group chat with her and a bunch of other girls. I just left it. I know it was petty on my end, and I apologized to my friend for it, but I just felt like it was petty knowing we hadn’t talked in a month and had been bickering.
We basically start arguing, and she told me she wasn’t going to beg to be my friend, because she didn’t have any “energy” to argue with me. I just wanted to be heard because I was hurt by how I had been treated the past 3-4 months. That made it clear to me she didn’t care about fixing things.
I get home from dropping her stuff off to realize she’s removed me from social media. I just let it go because I understand she probably doesn’t want to be my friend anymore on anything.
A couple of people message me and basically ask me if I saw what my “ex-friend” posted. I tell them no because i’m unadded off of social media. Turns out, she made a huge long post about me on social media, saying I wasn’t understanding of her mental health, saying that I wasn’t her friend like she thought I was.
The post drove me insane because i’ve done nothing but be there for her during her mental health issues, texting her everyday, getting her out of the house, buying her gifts to cheer her up. I couldn’t believe it.
I then got told later on by some people that were her friend that she’s talked a bunch of crap about me behind my back during the friendship. I asked them for proof just to be sure and the receipts of everything.
I just really was a good friend, I may have messed up by being petty but i’ve personally just never felt important to her and at least wanted to feel cared about. Hearing she talked about me behind my back makes me feel a little better about making this decision, but it still sucks.