u/Effective_Canary4955

I 25F and my husband 28M have been struggling with infertility for years now. We recently just had our 5th failed fertility treatment. Very important to add that I do NOT handle any of this well and my family (mainly parents) are very involved in emotionally supporting us.

With that being said my brother and his wife got pregnant their first month trying. Obviously there’s jealousy- I’d be stupid to deny it- but I’m thrilled for them. I’ve been as involved as I possibly can be. I was their gender keeper for their gender reveal, my mom and I put together their baby shower, I did their maternity pictures free of charge, showed up at the hospital (with permission) the day baby was born. I kept baby at 2 weeks old so they could go out.

I live in the next town over but every time I’m in their town I visit. I take full advantage of holding and loving on nephew with his parents present bc he does NOT do well w/ overnights away from parents! It’s an unspoken rule that I have full claim to him at family events bc I don’t get to see him as much as everyone else bc they live close by. They’ve also come to my house multiple times with baby. BUT I will say I do have a cut off for certain things. Ex)mom wanted family pictures. Afterwards she also wanted separate pics of all my siblings and their families while we were there. I asked if my husband and I could do ours 1st so that we didn’t have to be present while JUST baby pics/mommy&baby/ daddy&baby were being taken. She completely understood but this apparently offended my brother?

My brother recently made the comment to my mom that he was scared that when they got pregnant again it would break the already strained relationship him and I have. I was FLOORED. I decided to have a convo with him about this and he told me he didn’t feel I was involved enough with his child.

When telling my brother I didn’t see where he was coming from…my SIL and him both agreed that I let all these tx and Dr appointments consume me. That nothing else was important to me. I was shocked. I’ve struggled so much w/ a full time job & 20 hr drive/month to our fertility clinic AND still showing up for family. I’ll admit I can see the strain he was talking about after these comments were made and I own my part in the distance between us now.

I’ve taken lots of time to work on my mental health recently. I’ve been present for EVERYONE the past couple years to celebrate with them. Decorated, attended baby showers, (also a nurse) so answered alll the new mom questions, etc. I’ve had to distance myself from all this and made friends aware that I love and support them but couldn’t be present for baby showers bc it’s hard. Instead of sitting through an entire shower I instead come over one on one and give my gifts and visit! My family is aware I now do this for future cases.

Cue to…getting a 1st birthday party invite. WIBTA to extend what I’ve been doing with everyone else and skipping the party but having a day w/ them and baby?…

5 rounds of IUI failed, “unexplained” infertility. Went back to look at my lab work and realized my fasting insulin was 13! Blood sugar was 97. Asked my Dr about it…they said they MIGHT think that I have PCOS? This was never discussed with me, has never been a concern brought to my attention. My SHBG is low (22.3), my estradiol was only 50 when I had 3 “mature” follicles on letrazole. I’m really lost and confused…? Are these numbers as bad as I think?