Advice? I’m not actually divorced.
Being vague in case someone she knows sees it. Looking for help advice. So long story short. My wife and I have been having trouble for a year plus now. Recently told me a few months ago she hates our life together and is unsure of being with me. I have a bad habit of holding things in until I explode. Never at her, I abuse alcohol when this happens, I vent to a friend. She goes through my phone and gets mad at me for criticizing her talking bad.
I don’t have the same access to her phone or try to snoop on hers. Shes broken my trust. Basically told me to figure it out on my own, in different ways. Like im crazy and i just have to trust her because shes my wife and has “never done anything” then proceeds to tell me after 7 years shes never once spoken ill of me, to anyone. Im a good husband but im far from perfect so i find that hard to believe.
We’re in therapy things improved immensely over months, never fully physically intimate. Which was affecting me more than I admitted. I was over analyzing every interaction, trying to save this marriage and stay with this woman I love dearly. Along with staying with my daughter.
Forward a few months, the weight of my brain going crazy, analyzing everything, thinking she’s cheating on me, being so mentally screwed up. I misunderstood one reaction. Vented to a friend and she got a hold of my phone.
Sleeping separately again, she said we’re back to the start. Doesn’t think I can truly change?
I have been genuinely changing. Working my ass off. It’s just so tough to hear after all I’ve done one bad night, I’m back to the verge of divorce. Guys I’m even starting Solo therapy and it’s not something for me I already know. But I love my wife and family. I’m going down swinging.
I’m also starting it to get help preparing myself for whatever is to come. I know I’m capable of going into a dark dark place and that scares me. Cuz I’m a father to a beautiful awesome little girl