I have never been to therapy but i dont think my therapist is good?
Hello everybody!
I want to first say that i am using my university free 6 session therapy and i am about to leave university. Secondly, im really bad at explaining things so i apologise if this sounds very confusing!
The problem i have is, i dont think my therapist is doing a good job in helping me. Ive only had 2 50 minute sessions with her but i feel like ive learnt nothing and nothing has come out of these.
I would say 98% of the time its me talking out loud and she sometimes chimes in with either her clearing up a misunderstanding she's had or responds when i say idk what to do 15 times.
Ive talked to her about issues with:
Family life and dynamic abuse, being unsatisfied with all my friendships, my avoidancey problems, having such resentment for people over minor things (e.g. people on their phones, not wanting to join in, not taking the bins out immediately, etc), thinking everyone are such babies and need to toughen up, unable to deal with silence despite forcing myself to expose myself, not feeling close with anyone my entire life despite being told im very charismatic and social, not being able to trust people since ive always been constantly let down everytime,etc etc
We had a conversation that consisted of:
Me: i have issues i want to fix
Her: what issues do you want to fix?
Me: my avoidency, bla bla
Her: i know u said you've read online but why do you think you have avoidency issue
Me: um i have a hard time feeling close with people, whenever i think people are interested in me i avoid them and cant stand being in the same room as them, i never talk about my problems or issues despite internally being pissed. (Ive mentioned this all before)
Her: i mean you have told me you want connection and actively put urself out there, so it doesnt sound you have avoidency issues
(This is the most conversation we have ever had)
One time i told her how i dont feel close with people, which she said do you think its because you never open up about your issues and problems. I responded saying i do and i opened up to my friend about family abuse and issues ive dealt with and left the room thinking i dont feel any closer to her
Ive also talked about how people have told me im the most social person they know despite being a huge introvert and i have a need to control conversation and being very lively and outgoing. She believes that im masking myself and not being my true self, when i dont think thats not true? As i dont really think before i do anything nor restict myself. Im sorry this sounds really contradictory but that's my whole issue
I feel like im just talking out loud to her for majority of the session and she does not understand me. She doesnt give me any advice or ideas on how to help myself and these issues have been impacting me for a long time
Is this normal and i have just overestimated therapist?
Also if anyone has any solutions for my problems please let me know as well :,D