Hello! First time posting here. I'm in my mid twenties, a cis female from Malaysia, in case that info is needed for context. It's basically as the title says! I could really use some advice in navigating some things in how to proceed forward in my life. So I've known I have both Autism and ADHD as a child - it's a thing that runs in the family. I also have dyslexia, despite my love of reading and writing. Of course, naturally, all this comes with crippling depression and insomnia haha. Won the whole lottery baybee.
As a child I struggled in school, though still made it out with pretty decent grades. Middle school was where I thought I would be able to make it further (scored just about straight As in everything) and highschool was where everything crashed and burned. It was where I experienced the typical experiences one growing up ND would: Misunderstood, bullied, accused of committing things we had no recollection/knowledge of. This also happened in elementary school, though kids were kinder then. Highschoolers were mean mean, and me being in a high-achieving school at the time didn't help. The moment you start exhibiting those strange ND habits, the smart kids you're surrounded with start thinking you're lazy and crazy, man. But I guess that's just how life is(?)
Anyways I derailed a bit there. I tried to turn my life around and pull myself out of the depression highschool put me in and got into Uni. Somehow. It was a course I actually had a special interest in so it was somewhat easier to hang in there. 3 and a half years of pain and suffering and somehow made it out top of class? No idea how I did that.
In any case, we are where we are at now. I've started drafting my research proposal to apply for a Masters Degree, and after some thinking and a whole year of taking a break and 'healing' from a severe form of depression, I've decided I do love learning. I love working on projects and doing research and I want to get this next level in education. I just can't help that I'm born in a world dominated by Neurotypicals, right? So this is where I'm at. I can't afford consistent therapy (it is also terrifying to me), though that is a potential in the future. My main question is if I should get medicated so I can maybe be able to focus on this better without my brain doing the thing where it drags me away to another less important thing. It also would help if I don't end up depressed and frozen and having a mental breakdown every other minute when the thought of working towards a future becomes too overwhelming to bear. Other advice regarding habits and such is welcome too. Currently I've been taking magnesium and omega-3 to help manage this, though of course prescribed meds are out of reach until I see a professional about it. (to which I am genuinely terrified of, so some insight and advice on that as well would really help me)
Thank you for reading ❤️