u/Educational_Pipe4536

So I might be preaching to the choir here and probably am. And yes I know makers of apps try to keep you on there for as long as possible and they’re preying on knowing the psychology of how both genders operate on the apps and exploiting it.

Men’s problems can be boiled down to a lack of matches and women’s problems can be boiled down to a lack of quality matches. But with that said there are some very simple and easy things that both genders can do to both improve their chances and improve the apps as a whole.

Men:

-You have to take better photos, the biggest problem in almost every single post you’ll see on r/hingeapp is that the photos are low effort or the only photos they have of themselves. Pretty self-explanatory and simple but most guys just download the apps and want the instant gratification of likes and matches and texting without the effort. It’s not usually looks that are the issue, it’s the photos

-You just gotta stop with being low effort or sexual too much too soon. “Hey” or “wyd” is not gonna cut it. Women complain about it all the time and for good reason and guys just don’t listen. Also planning a real date for the first meeting. Sounds simple but that’s a lost art these days.

-You actually need to raise your standards, not lower them. Stop swiping or liking every girl you see. You only get so many per day so use them on girls who would actually be a good match in terms of values. If you think her liking you back is a long shot, it probably is.

Women:

-Obviously this is a tough one, but it’s the flip side of guys taking better photos you need to be more open-minded to guys who don’t have the best photo game if you can see that they’re otherwise an ok-looking guy. Especially if you don’t like his initial photo, at least look through the profile and see who he is and what he’s about. A gym selfie for example doesn’t mean a guy is egotistical, he’s just proud of the physique he built. If it was a beach shirtless pic instead, it shows the same thing but he comes off as more humble.

-Same thing for men’s prompts, dating apps are a skill they don’t teach in school and just because they’re not the best at them doesn’t mean he’s necessarily a bad or uninteresting guy. All you can really focus on is the initial physical attraction and the big things (age, job, relationship type preference) and the rest will be figured out on a first date.

-Understand that low effort responses show lack of interest and make men less likely to want to get it to a date or keep the conversation going. Yes both men and women do this a lot, but women on average have way more matches at any one time so they’re more likely to respond slowly or low effort. It’s better to just unmatch the ones you’re less interested in and focus on those that are putting in effort on the responses. Leaving a match with one word replies or ghosting is worse than just unmatching them cause on their end they feel rejected and confused.

This post is inspired by the battling discourse I see a lot on Reddit of men and women disagreeing on what is actually the most attractive features on a guy. You’ll see a lot of women say they actually prefer dad bods, and then men in the comments will try to invalidate their opinion and say they’re lying.

My argument would be that, while it is true women have varied preferences in men, the best strategy for men is still to be the most widely appealing. And obviously most women don’t like the steroid/bodybuilder look, but I’m generally just speaking about staying in good physical shape at a lean body fat %.

And aside from the benefits in terms of looks, the confidence and self esteem boost that can’t be faked from getting in better shape alone is worth it. I saw a stat a while back that I thought was fascinating that men who use steroids have the most sex despite women’s stated preference of not liking the roided look. And I would say that’s mostly from the confidence and testosterone they get from it.

Chris Williamson also often cites a similar statistic that men whom other men were more likely to rate as “looks like they could beat me in a fight” reported a greater frequency of having sex than men in the same study who women who rated as the best looking.

I ask this because there is obviously more feminist women than feminist men (shocker), and the gap is most pronounced among Gen Z.

So without even adjusting for any other factors that might affect compatibility, there is still a big demographic gap between men and women in this.

From the statistics, about 30% of Gen Z and Millennial men are feminist.