Hey all, I’m looking for some outside perspective on my situation because I’m honestly pretty drained by it.
I was in a relationship for about 9.5 years (started young, lived together for several years, engaged at one point). We separated mid-2025. No kids, both working, not married.
The situation
We had two properties:
Property 1 (jointly owned):
- Sold earlier this year for about $1.2M
- Around $492k profit sitting in a trust account
- I’ve asked for a straight 50/50 release
My ex is refusing to release any of the money unless we first reach a full agreement about both properties. Her reasoning is that she thinks I might use my share to pursue a claim on the second property.
This is putting me under a lot of financial pressure since I currently can’t access any of that money.
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Property 2 (in her name only):
- Was always intended as part of a joint plan (we originally planned to build a property portfolio together)
- I contributed to the deposit, mortgage, bills, and renovations
- Lived there together for ~2 years
- Also put in a lot of personal labour and maintenance
Even though it’s only in her name, I see it as a joint investment in reality.
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Contributions (general)
Across both properties I:
- Paid roughly 50% (sometimes more) of mortgage and expenses
- Contributed to deposits
- Helped fund and carry out improvements
- Continued paying even after moving out for a period
- Helped organise sale-related tasks
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Current position
I’m basically asking for:
- 50/50 split of the jointly owned property funds (which are already liquid)
- A fair outcome on the second property based on contributions
If it goes to court, I’d likely pursue a 50/50 overall division.
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The issue
What’s bothering me most is this:
She’s effectively holding the jointly owned money hostage to force a global agreement.
I understand wanting to resolve everything together, but at the same time, this was a jointly owned asset that’s already been sold.
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Question
- Is it reasonable for someone to block release of jointly owned funds like this?
- Does my position (50/50 overall) sound fair given the circumstances?
- Has anyone been through something similar?
Appreciate any insight — legal or just personal experience. This whole thing has been weighing on me a lot.