u/Educational_Leave455

His cognitive will combust

I doomscroll, watch YouTube, watch YouTube while I doomscroll. And when I don’t eat, I smoke. To fall asleep I have to have some sound in the background that drowns out my mind.

Constantly looking for distraction from myself and my thoughts. My attention span is pretty busted and I feel like technology is doing me more harm than good.

The few peaceful moments are when I sit in the garden and observe the crows, doves, magpies, cows and rabbits all living together on the field next door, picking for food. That tends to be rather short lived since I’ll reach for my phone after a few minutes or light up a smoke.

Would silence and unplugging be the treatment that could help me? I’m terribly afraid of it, I know it will be so uncomfortable and I’ll feel uneasy

I watch a YouTube video, if I don’t do that I doomscroll, if I don’t doomscroll I will smoke a cigarette, if I don’t smoke a cigarette I will eat, if I don’t eat I’ll doomscroll.

I can’t seem to sit in silence, it’s uncomfortable, I constantly try to avoid my mind.

And it’s fucking exhausting. Would the obvious answer to all this just be silence? Endure the uncomfortable feeling?

There are moments where I feel at peace, mostly sitting outside, good weather, watching the field in front of my balcony, look at the crows, magpies, rabbits and doves all gathering together and picking for seeds, but that just doesn’t hold very long, a few minutes in I’m back to my cycle

Mindlessly checking my phone even though there isn’t a notification

I think I’m not alone with this

I never watch Anime, I tried but didn’t stick with it.

I like shows like Better Call Saul, The Sopranos, Trailerpark Boys, etc.

Can you recommend me an anime?