u/EducationalWrap8399

I met a man who was my step brothers friend back in 2014, my step brother passed away in 2015…. We celebrate him on his birthday every single summer since he passed, (I have two children, 6&7 boys at the time in 2024 from a previous 8 year relationship fromAge 17-25) in summer of 2022 I reconnected with one of my step brothers friends I had met so many years prior that was around pretty frequently. When we reconnected it was almost instant chemistry, I never really payed him any mind when we were kids he was always just there we continued consistently from summer 2022 all the way into 2025…. now In October/November after many many conversations of wanting a baby, for the first time in my life I was monitoring my cycle, both us were with every intention of trying to conceive a a baby together, I got pregnant immediately. And almost instantly a man who was once helping me by dropping and picking up my sons from school (i have a bad back from sciatic nerve damage) helping them with their homework, cooking dinner for them and us, watching movies with them making snacks with them, he turned to this very dark cloud, negative, swearing at them, he would say things like (watch your fuckin mouth before I slap you in your fuckin face kid) to a SEVEN year old and it was raising a lot of tension in the house as I did not like the way he was talking to my CHILDREN. All the sudden my children became a huge problem. Looking back he never helped me with a single bill but he was trying to get a job in the trades, I have a lot of family members in the trades and who have their own businesss so I had started asking for him, he isolated me from my friend group, made family gatherings he attended extremely awkward, my grandma who raised me , at the time of this was passing so I tried to do little things to keep her involved hoping she would make it to the birth of the baby (she died 1 month before baby was born) so me attempting to keep my grandma as involved as i could was a chore for him, at one point he stopped making any effort to get a job, he was basically another mouth to feed, around my 6 month mark I was on the phone catching up with a friend of mine who he doesn’t like (reasons unknown) when I got off the phone he started a HUGEEEEEE fight, reasons being he was tired, I talk loud, and I was on the phone when he was trying to nap. At that point I was fed up, I said I will talk on my phone, that I pay for, in my bed that I payed for, under my roof that I pay for, using my wifi that I also pay for, he was going on and on about things I forget. And I told him I need space, he needs to go stay at his dads or mothers because I need space he’s smothering me, he again starting going on about stuff I don’t remember and I just said “you’re just a sassy mother f***er” and a man, who’s never even called me out of my name clenched his fist and punched me directly in my face as if I was his size, I’m 5’3, 150lb 6 months pregnant. He’s 6’3, 200lb MAN. My reaction was to swing back and I got him in the nose, and then he pinned me down and continued to punch me in my face and there was nothing I could do to defend myself, my 7 and 8 year olds, ran in the room jumping on him screaming to get off their mom to stop hurting their mom , he physically through one back into the wall, and the other off the bed, I was able to get up while he was doing this and I put myself between him and my kids and hit him again saying don’t ever put your hands on my kids and I told them to run in the bathroom and lock the door, this man got ahold of my phone and tried to smash it, it wouldn’t break, the boys didn’t listen and go to the bathroom like I said they were too scared to leave me so one went for his iPad to call for help and he whipped my sons iPad across the house, I got the boys in the bathroom and when I attempted to lock the door and call for help he kicked in the door and tossed my phone in the toilet then proceeded to kick and punch my 6 month old belly for 5 minutes straight with me on my hands and knees saying he’s gonna kill it and give me an abortion now my sons were screaming I had zero energy to even attempt to shield myself from the hits, the police were called, they eventually showed up after he had left, WITH my phone… and like a LOSER, I lied for him. I said I dropped my phone in the toilet and he accidentally bumped me into the wall and that I just didn’t want him coming back. I received a call from the prosecutor a few months later asking if I wanted to say my peace in the trial I missed the calll as my son came and had a lengthily stay in the Nicu, I tried calling her back maybe 2 dozen times because I realized someone who can do that to a pregnant woman and two young children should be put UNDER the jail, I kept calling to no avail, I got ahold of the crowns office eventually to find out “since they didn’t get ahold of me he got a peace bond with th only condition is no contact for a year unless means for family court” that year is up coming on September 4th. A few months. He harassed me day and night up until the baby was born, when the baby was born, I haven’t heard from him since, his own family doesn’t know the baby exists. Only one sister who messages me here and there who clearly doesn’t understand the severity of what her brother did…. Summary is, unless he peruses family court, which I doubt he will since my child will be a year in July and he’s done nothing yet, my son will never have a father, my older sons father is very present with them, he even holds the new baby, interacts with him at birthday parties and what not, but one day I have to answer to my son about where his dad is, so I guess I’m just looking for advice, what do I tell my son about his dad, what do I NOT tell him, HOW do I tell him, where do I say his dad is ? When he first assaulted my children and I I deleted all pictures not thinking ahead so I don’t think I have a picture maybe if I look really far back I’d have one of him as a teenager with my deceased brother, what if one day my son wants to know his dad ? After his dad trying to basically kill me in order to kill the baby…. Idk what to do or say. My biggest regret is lying for him in the beginning, I made every effort to straighten out the story just bad luck with the justice system, trying to straighten out the story and getting questions like “if he did that to your belly why not go to the hospital after?” How do I explain that after that happening part of me wished it had worked?? I’m raising my son completely alone, I don’t have alot of family at all as it is. I’m doing good so far, obviously a lot of my social life is gone naturally but that’s fine, I just don’t know how to handle this situation when the time comes or when he starts talking and seeing other dads answers and questions will change based on age. And idk who to talk to about this cause none of my friends even have kids to start much less a situation like this