Two days ago my girlfriend and I broke up even though we still love each other. We said goodbye while hugging and crying, both wishing things could have worked.
The problem is that while we’ve shared some of the best moment of our lives together, we’ve also experienced some of the most stressful ones over our one and a half year relationship. When things are good they feel perfect. But when we argue everything falls apart. We just can’t seem to communicate in a healthy way during conflict and it leaves both of us feeling hurt and drained. I’m able to handle disagreements with other people in a healthy way, I believe she can too. But when it comes to us, something just doesn’t work. We’ve tried SO many times to fix this and everyime we hoped it would be different but it never really was. In early months it was more manageable. Man I miss those days… everything was new and we were naive that we had no clue we’d be having the same fights again and again. In fact we found these very first arguments cute. As time went on, we slowly came to realize it was never going to end and started to get tired and lose patience. Everything have become worse.
And still we didn’t want to break up, so we just kept hurting each other. It all hit the breaking point two days ago, and instead of directly ending things my girlfriend suggested that we could just be friends but continue to see each other every day and basically doing everything the same just without the label of being in a relationship. I was unsure about that, and as expected it didn’t really work. Just one day later, yesterday we ended up making out and reconciling.
Now I feel stuck. My heart shouts “Hell yes” that now we are together again. But my brain knows this is so wrong. We both think our boundaries are being violated in this relationship. I know the correct thing to do is breaking up. And I know there won’t be some magical answers from people to fix this, still I wanted to post this and share my emotions. Thanks for reading