u/Educational-Cat-600

As I’ve said, I’m a little unsure on my partners hobbies or lack of shall I say, I don’t know if I’m being a control freak or if I’m valid in my feelings. For context we’ve been together for 6 and a half years and throughout this time we’ve had multiple conversations about how we don’t want to watch tv every night all night and she will say how she wants to be better, go the gym, have hobbies etc. And she will go to the gym for one day a week for two weeks and then stop, which I do understand is a hard hobby to get into. Usually the reason she doesn’t go is because she’s tired, I get it, but I do also think the tiredness probably comes from going to bed late and also not exercising.

It isn’t a physical thing of why this bothers me, it’s more a proactive/ dedication/ discipline thing. I think it would be attractive to have someone who does the things they say they want, is focused on their wellbeing for now and the future, dedicated to being a better them. And I compare it to myself who has bit the bullet and gone all in these past two years, I’ve joined a gym, competed, I’m reading more, having more of a routine, more aware of how I’m spending my time all whilst dealing with disabilities (not to say I’ve dealt amazingly but my mind set does feel a-bit if I can why can’t you which I get may not be the best). But then she comes home, says she’s tired and puts the tv on and it causes a resentment. I think part of my resentment comes from the fact that I got so sick of my own bullsh*t and excuses and now I don’t really have tolerance to anyone’s because my mind set is one life, live it don’t let it keep passing you by. I think another part of it comes from not saying what you are going to do, a lot of the time to anything its ‘il do it tomorrow or later’, and doesn’t get done. I sit and hope that one day the lightbulb will click but it doesn’t seem to be coming.
I see a lot about accepting your partner, and I really tried to work on this and for a while I just got on with it and focused on myself as I thought maybe it’s a case of projection that I feel I’m not doing enough however, it feels like it’s coming back up again as I notice that it bleeds into other things like a lack of intimacy and then when I notice I wrongly push away because I don’t want to have the same conversation again and I most certainly don’t want to make her feel like a bad person which often she says she feels. I just feel as though it would be nice to have a partner to do all of it with and I often find my self matching someone else’s behaviour & clocking it and having to re work on my habits and hobbies. I almost feel like we made all these plans and wasted so many hours talking for me to be what feels like dragging her along and it’s draining.

I guess my question is, is this how do I work through this? Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so, how did that work out?

For context I have worked in RTA since leaving university around 3 years ago, I started as pre lit & now I am a litigation handler. I’ve had a few other interviews for different areas and the interviewee has said that they came from the same area.
Howeverrrr, it seems almost impossible to move away from this area now. Recruiter’s i speak to have said once your in an area you kinda just stay there and re train opportunities are very hard to come by which tbh looking on the job market and how many jobs I apply too vs interviews seems true.

My question is, if you were once in this area/ know of anyone one that was how did you get out? Is there any extra curricular activities I can do. It frightens me the thought of doing this all my life rather than an area I’m passionate about.

Areas I would be interested in:
Environmental
Human rights
(Above seem even harder to get into)
Commercial