My older sister has been married for five years has a 5 year son and a 18 month daughter with my bil (27m)
Since the beginning of their relationship they have had a lot of conflict. My sister grew up having a lot of friends and male partners (I don’t judge to each their own) and bil used to have a lot of female partners. In the beginning of the relationship, it was rocky because he was untruthful about being with another woman. My sister stopped all of her flings to be with bil but from what she told me, it was a little bit difficult for him to drop his flings even to this day he has his “exs” addresses saved on his phone (which I have told her is not normal)
Throughout the relationship, they’ve had a lot of conflict. He emotionally cheating and physically on her and her emotionally cheating on him. There’s some things in their relationship she truly doesn’t believe is wrong , her boss used to send her money and ask her to buy herself pretty things and send him pics of her wearing it and she doesn’t believe that’s cheating, bil would text womem he’s sexually attracted to and then tell my sister that nothing physical is happening so nothing is wrong (wtf) bil has constantly told her he doesn’t want to be with her and that the only reason that they’re together is for the children and that she doesn’t have the balls to leave him (I’ve told her this is the dumbest reason to stay together and that it’s more harmful for the children she doesn’t seem to care.. my nephew is observant and from an outside perspective, he is being affected and so is my niece)
Flash forward to now a couple weeks ago my sister called me to tell me that he again is emotionally cheating on her and that she kicked him out after finding evidence then calls me the next day to say he’s back home and slept in the same bed that night and it really irritated me and heard where I think I fucked up. I told her bil has it in the bag he gets to cheat and say disgusting things to you and he still gets to come home sleep in his bed and see his children. He has a wife, but still gets to have all the women he wants and still come home. At one point, I even said “ you know that saying you can’t have your cake and eat it too? Well he gets his cake and everyone’s cake cause he still has a safe place at home” I told her she needs to stand up for herself and for her children and if she can’t, she needs to shut up.
This happened yesterday and I’ve been replaying it in my head the conversation, and as much as I still stand behind it I feel bad and regret that I told her