Recently, my boyfriend and I have both been deep in finals (I’m in an M.Arch program, and he’s in med school), so I understand that communication hasn’t been as frequent over the past few weeks. However, there was a day when I didn’t hear from him at all, and I had asked him to text me when he got home—he never did. After that, I tried to set a simple expectation: if he’s going to be too busy to reply, whether for a couple of days or even a week, I’d really appreciate a heads-up so I don’t worry. I made it clear I would respect that space. Instead, he became upset and told me I was being unfair, and even said I should just be quiet until Thursday, which didn’t sit right with me.
Now, he’s on a trip to a tropical island with friends during his break, while I’m still in the middle of my final thesis defense. He mentioned that the group is all girls but insists they’re just friends, and that he didn’t want to miss out on the trip. I’m trying not to be controlling, but I can’t help feeling like the situation is a bit disrespectful, especially given everything else.
Today, I asked if we could talk on the phone, and he left me on read. When I told him that hurt me, he said he was just too busy to talk.
I’m feeling really conflicted. I love him, and when we’re together, he seems to genuinely enjoy my company and says he loves me. But lately, I’ve been feeling uneasy and unsure how to interpret his behavior, especially since long distance (we live about two hours apart) already adds challenges. Because of my autism, I sometimes struggle with reading situations clearly, so I’m having a hard time knowing what’s reasonable to expect here.
I’d really appreciate any advice