Dear Skyrim Mods, I come to you begging for your suggestions and ideas as I am an indecisive wench who cannot make up her own mind. (Spoiler: There's a love triangle and I need help picking)
A small disclaimer that some of this might contain headcanons you disagree with, if that's the case frankly please keep it to yourself. I am not interested in a debate. This is all meant in good fun and I don't want to yuck anyone's yum as long as they don't yuck mine. This is HEAVILY based in roleplay and my own fantasy of what my DB and her fellow adventurers would be like so if that bothers you I won't hold it against you if you click away now! Anyways, here's quite a bit of backstory/context for you all, if it pleases you. If the backstory does NOT please you, I STILL won't hold it against you. This is a very long spiel for what is truthfully a simple question and for that reason I've spoilered it. Feel free to skip the spoilered paragraphs if you're not interested in my personal lore and headcanons. I only provide it for those interested in the full story that want more context and details on why I find myself struggling to pick.
>!I have recently delved into a heavily modded playthrough that is centered around my DB being this Imperial/Redguard princess who descends from a mystical bloodline. She's noble, she's beautiful, a bit tragic, a bit naive, and a more powerful sorceress than she knows. She fled her home after a 'Red Wedding' situation that ended in her father's and her fiance's brutal murders, a power-hungry (or vengeful, depending on who you believe) half-brother calling for her execution, and the imprisonment of her mother at the hands of said half-brother. The Jarl of Falkreath learned of her presence and offered her security and safety at his court, although she feared his motivations were either purely lustful or, similarly to her half-brother, more power-driven than anything else. She would not be the Jarl's mistress or bargaining chip and so it was not long before she fled yet again in the dark of night. After witnessing unspeakable horrors in Helgen she fled further north to Whiterun, where she had a chance encounter with a Redguard woman. Here my DB found her first loyal ally and a friend who could truly understand her. After some sneaky backstabbing intrigue directed at the Alik'r, my DB set off to find someone who could provide proper protection for her and her new friend. The two of them faced constant threats from the Thalmor and other assassins, and they could not fend them off alone forever. Saadia informed my DB of rumors about a strange looking large man taken by the Thalmor in Falkreath and they set off to learn more about him. An enemy of the Thalmor could easily be a friend of theirs, after all. Thanks to my DB's remaining connections in Falkreath they discovered and freed Kaidan, earning his loyalty as their sworn shield. At one point the trio was set upon by bandits outside of Whiterun, but they managed to fight them off and afterwards discovered a message about a pirate who they believed could smuggle them to safer shores. This ended up being the man himself, Val Serano, only unfortunately he very much could NOT help smuggle them to safer shores in his current circumstances. Despite his predicament my DB developed an affection for his roguish mannerisms and insisted on bringing him along against Kaidan's judgement. Perhaps he'd be useful later, right? Besides, another sword/shield wasn't something her and Saadia could turn away at a time like this. !<
>!Soon the quartet discovered they would not be leaving Skyrim anytime soon, not after they witnessed the return of the dragons and the discovery of my DB's true destiny. Now Kaidan had grown even more resolved to protect the DB and her friends, since the fate of the world literally depended on her survival. He developed a quiet, unrequited affection for the DB (unrequited if only because my DB was too naive to catch on sooner and he was too nervous to be direct). At the same time my DB's feelings for Val grew stronger, especially as they began studying at the College of Winterhold together. Things got more personal between them and eventually they developed a romantic relationship as she helped him on his own quests for revenge, peace, and closure. She even bought him a BOAT! She began to develop a very naive belief that they just might be meant to be. Unfortunately things between them ended abruptly when Val insisted he wasn't the marrying kind of guy, as my noble princess DB very much has to be the marrying type. Not to mention that's just how she was raised and she stands firm in her patronage to Mara. By this point the princess had grown more powerful and confident in her skills so she coldly dismissed him from their party, although Saadia knew under the surface part of her was still that naive and heartbroken girl. So the trio left behind Val and the College without finishing the DB's studies and they continued on their journey to defeat the dragons. Things were going as well as they could be, and Kaidan seemed to grow more bold with his affections in Val's absence. The two developed a 'will they/won't they' dynamic that only intensified when more light was shed on his mysterious past and his family lineage following a thrilling party. After rescuing a particular old man and visiting a certain temple and talking to someone on a certain mountain, my DB was remiss to learn she'd have to revisit the College of Winterhold to ask about a certain scroll. Just as things were heating up with Kaidan, she'd have to go be in close proximity to her (sort of) ex. One she very much still had some complicated feelings for. The reunion was as awkward as it could've been and everyone went to bed without much to say. Imagine her shock when she woke up the next morning to discover him missing. !<HERE'S WHERE THE ACTUAL DILEMMA BEGINS.
I have not progressed very much in Kaidan's romance, but I've gotten far enough that there's a genuine connection between him and my DB. Very much a 'will they/won't they' thing going on (a trope I have an absurd fondness for). On the other hand, I'm sort of at the 'peak' of Val's romance questline with the Wicked Game quest. Specifically I'm at the part where you have to decide whether to break his heart or make an honest man out of him. My DB is a monogamous woman, so there will not be any Challengers-esque dynamics for the three of them. She has to pick one. Does she pick the loyal, brooding sworn shield who has fiercely defended her at every turn, who only recently started to become more dear to her heart, and may even have his own destiny intertwined with hers? Or does she pick the roguish handsome pirate who has already stolen her heart, damaged it, and is now desperate to mend their broken relationship? Personally I'm sort of leaning towards Kaidan, only because I'm not sure if my character can currently find it in her to accept and forgive Val so quickly (and the quest unfortunately forces you to make an immediate decision). When it comes to love my DB's very much seeking stability and safety after everything she's been through. Val seems to be the furthest thing from that at this moment, although Kaidan could just as easily begin feeling unstable/unsafe the more she learns of his past. What are your thoughts? In the mean time I am going to reload and postpone Wicked Game and Elder Knowledge until I've reached a decision (hopefully with everyone's help here!) Also going to see if I can progress a bit further in Kaidan's romance without reaching the point of no return.
Bonus question since I love torturing my characters: Should a relationship begin only to be ended abruptly with yet another untimely death?! Thoughts, ideas, opinions welcome. Rudeness is not though! Thanks in advance ❤️