Falling for your guy friend.
TL;DR: Hey friends, I never thought I’d ever be in this position, but here I am. As a dorky, whimsical, woman in her early 20s, has never dated or experienced ANY romance before, I could really use some advice on how to approach this situation😅:
So I met this guy about a year ago, we met at an event on campus, & talked for hours. It was the most sudden & unexpected interaction that I’d never expect to go anywhere from that initial moment. I didn’t even plan to go initially, but I just wanted to get out of my depression room. We crossed paths & here comes this tall, hyper man who was so silly to me. I truly had no feelings towards him, just intrigued to get to know this goofball. We talked & talked about so many things unrelated to the event, till we were the last ones in the room, & that’s when I knew I needed him in my circle of friends. We eventually exchanged contacts & I never really expected to see him ever again, but one could only hope so. I followed up and we stayed in touch the best we could. The fall semester of our senior year starts & we kept suddenly running into each other & had mini chats. I started to grow slightly stronger in feelings & was in denial for months. There could be no way I’m falling for this guy I still don’t know deeply?? New Year’s Eve hits & he sends me a heartfelt happy new year message that made me think of him the whole night, just wishing we were in each other’s presence. I decided to grow some balls and suggest we get to know each other more next semester, that’s exactly what we did.
The more we hung out , the more he spoke, & the more he unleashed his child-like personality, the more I just kept falling for him. His mind is so unique & I hardly ever come across guys like him. I started to value our beautiful friendship so deeply, but the more in denial I was, my gut kept telling me I felt something more. The semester slowly comes to a close & we get our final hang outs of undergrad out of the way. As we give our goodbye hugs, that’s when I came to terms with the fact that I indeed have fallen so deeply for my friend. Man, when I started to look into his eyes more, I would just melt. Sometimes when he’d speak, I’d doze off staring at his lips. When he talks about something he’s passionate about, it just heals something within me. Whenever we have our car chats, I feel so safe & at home. He makes me feel so comfortable & loved , it’s like we met in a past life how instantly we clicked. Every time I see his name on my phone it just makes my day. My body rushes with butterflies every time he says my name.
To top this story off, he has absolutely no clue I feel this way about him... I’ve become so used to closing off my emotions for not being desired by anyone, ever, that it’s truly hard to tell I like someone unless I say it. It crushes every day pretending around him & the fear I get that I could potentially ruin a beautiful friendship. Either way, if he doesn’t like me back, I’ll still be ok. I love our friendship so much that I’m willing to stay at that. But I’d be lying if I didn’t hope he will feel the same, & we take things further. The worst part about this all is that we don’t have much time together before he packs his bags & starts his new full time job several states away. I’m stuck in a position where I’m dying to tell him but terrified at the same time…