Well I guess he wants me to take him back.
I think.
I genuinely didn’t think I’d hear from this man again after his heartlessness last summer. I had found out that during the 8 months since he disappeared (in December 2024) and left me worried and in the dark, he had actually monkey branched to an ex of his. For 8 months he ignored all of my communication. To finally find out (from his teenage son) in August 2025 that he was happily in love with someone else.
After his callousness when I called him last summer I sincerely thought he would never reach out again and didn’t have a shred of care. Like I could die and it wouldn’t mean a thing to him.
I did notice he seemed to shut down on his socials a few weeks after our exchange in August 2025 (removed his profile photos and stopped posting all together) and this has remained the case since. And then last month I received that email (his first reach out in 16 months). I initially thought he reached out from a place of pity. But after a month of light communication, I’m nearly certain he is waiting for me to give the green light and tell him I’m willing to welcome him back into my life.
He hasn’t been very open but he’s communicating fairly consistently. He’s deeply unhappy, self loathing and “waking up everyday to a life he no longer wants to live”. He’s also vaguely expressed that he made a huge mistake, and misses what we shared. But that he’s not happy with himself and where he’s arrived in life, suggesting he doesn’t feel he has much to offer.
It gives me some relief because I really gave my all and I have just been in disbelief that someone could so easily discard my complete love and devotion. Like there is nothing more I could have given. I was completely his.
I’ve heard that most avoidants circle back in some way shape or form and severely doubted it. Suddenly it all feels so textbook.
I also hoped for and envisioned almost this exact scenario. Him being deeply unhappy, self loathing and riddled with shame, coming back and me trying to forgive him.
But now that it seems to be happening I am mainly just observant. Skeptical, curious.
I tried blocking him about a week ago and realized it’s just not in my heart to do so. It’s just not in my heart to turn him away despite all the hurt and betrayal. It hurts me to turn my back to him and I just don’t know how to. I just don’t know what to do with this connection truly.
Forgot to mention he wished me a happy Mother’s Day yesterday morning and I broke down in tears. After zero acknowledgement for so long it’s all surreal. But I’m also aware this could all be from a purely selfish motive. And I’m just lost.