u/EcstaticArtichoke872

this month has been too heavy for me. my mom decided to disowned me, my only best friend decided to cut me off, and my boyfriend broke up with me. i dont know what to do and i hate having to go through things like this alone again. i dont wanna depend on anyone anymore. ive been planning for my act to commit and end myself. im getting tired. the world decided to be so against me what did i do wrong. someone please kill me rn

long post ahead. trigger warning

my mom did the most inhumane things to me just because of a 100 pesos. hi, my name is sofia, and i am a 16 years old, diagnosed with dmdd (disruptive mood dysregulation disorder. recently, my mom accused me that i stole her 100 pesos, but when i denied it, she keeps pushing that it was me because im the only one who's with her in the house. before anyone throws tomatoes at me, i never took it, there isnt evidence either when she checked the cctv, but one thing i couldnt get is why shes so pressed over a hundred pesos when the money was earned from my lola, fyi kaming mga apo lang ang nakakatanggap ng weekly allowance na 100 galing sa lola namin, but im embarrassed to say na pati ang nanay ko kasama sa bigayan since sya nalang ang walang kahit isa stable job o job man lang sa kanilang magkakapatid. okay so back to the story. she continued to press that it was me who took it, and i grew frustrated thats why i choose to walk out and went to my lola's house muna because she wouldnt even believe me if i told her that it wasnt me. not until she started spamming me with bunch of messages that i shouldnt come back there anymore, she had also messaged my sister who i was with at that time, clearly showing a picture that she was invading my privacy by searching my room, she found a bunch of stuff like my resume which i didnt plan on telling her 'yet', some things that im gonna give to my boyfriend, and some important documents that i kept hidden from her. i immediately rushed and went there to get few of my stuff but she immediately starts hitting me with harsh words, it almost feels like im not even talking to my mother. and when she continued, i snapped and we got into a heated argument. i told her that i wasnt coming back anymore. a bunch of negative personal stuff that im not gonna disclose. pagtapos nyan, umalis na ako. may lola offered me to stay at her home, but i know that its probably temporary because even she and i arent really in the best terms. i went to sleep there for a day and i decided to once again go back to the house to get more stuff since i also forgot my laptop and more basic necessities. but when i did i got thrown with more bunch of negative sentences such as "bakit ka andito?!", "bahay ko 'to!", "alis!", and since i was already annoyed with her when all i was doing was getting my stuff back, i keep telling her that ang dami nyang sinasabi. i finally then figured that the laptop was inside their room, i faced her and told her that my lola bought that laptop for me and that i needed that for school, however she keeps refusing as if she owns it—keep in mind, yung lola ko pa fully nagpaid dyan, not once did she bought something that i need like that. i keep trying to get the laptop because i really need it and i also have plans to get jobs, pero bigla nya ako thrineaten na ipupukpok nya yung laptop sa ulo ko, and this is where things gets messy. she tried to hit me but missed, but due to human natural instinct, i ended up hitting her back. when we stopped, she keeps playing the victim card as if pinapamukha nya na ako lang yung may mali, and the worst part? she had my step dad siding with her while i was literally arguing and begging them with eyes full of tears and cracked voice—telling them to believe me at least once hindi yung dahil lang sya yung matanda, ay sya na panipaniwala. our argument keeps going on but that's where i decided to give up defending myself and let her have the laptop. ngayon, sobrang stressed ko and i feel so hopeless. hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. ive been seeking jobs since yesterday so i could figure out how to financially support myself early kasi alam kong kahit na lola ko ito, temporary parin stay ko rito. i dont know what to do anymore, i still have stuff in the house and some secretive things that i kept hidden there, but im scared that going back will result to getting into a heated argument again. ps: im only 16 years old but im forced to act like an adult in this situation. — all because of a 100 pesos that wasnt even earned from dedication or hardwork but from my lola. i dont know how i can move forward.

small update: i still dont have my laptop and i figured out that she has been recently logging into my facebook account and reading all of my messages. i changed all of my passwords and signed out the device. and asking for a small help if anyone is willing to help me find a job as a minor? 🥹