My (24F) nonexistent friend wants me to be her bridesmaid. What do I do?
Basically, one of my best friends of 20 years has started ghosting me and being more distant in the last 3-4 years. I see her mom more at the grocery store than I do her. Even at my birthday last month she ended up not showing up or texting me at all (which I didn’t confront her about because I did not want to waste my energy). At first, I chalked it up to her just not wanting to be my friend anymore which is fine! People change and I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. But now, she’s engaged and telling our mutual friend that I will be a bridesmaid.
Here’s my thing: I don’t even know her anymore. Everything I know about her is from our mutual friend. I’ve stopped inviting her to things because she either can’t make it, doesn’t respond, or just ghosts the event. Naturally, I have a lot of built up resentment over this because she sends mixed signals. For example, she planned a wedding dress shopping day with both of us and never texted us to tell us any final details. She ended up ignoring our mutual friend’s texts until after she found her dress that day lol. Again, ghosted.
Do I decline her offer if it ends up actually happening? I do want to be apart of this big event in her life but I also want us to be friends again if that’s the case. Or do I bring it up and get everything off my chest when she asks? I’d hate for it to be about me when it shouldn’t be but this is how I’ve been feeling, she just has made me so much more confused with this bridesmaid talk. It’s not straightforward.
And also, I hate her fiancé lol. He’s a dick that has left me and our mutual friend stranded at a bar when he was our DD AFTER he berated my friend into a sobbing meltdown. But that’s a whole separate thing LOL
TL;DR; My best friend has ghosted me for years but now wants me to be her bridesmaid. Do I accept, decline, or confront her about it?