u/Ecstatic-Bet-7494

I am looking for something beginner and user friendly that I can read with three toddlers.

I found out that my ex-husband is a molester and child sexual abuser. The problem I have is that even though I have not been with him for five years, I feel so gross inside. I feel gross that I carried his children and that we had s*x before. Picturing the exchange of bodily fluids makes me queasy inside and when I found out, I got really physically sick and almost had to go to the hospital for my physical symptoms. I have a really hard time feeling like I’m not damaged goods from this. I love my children, but I know that my ex-husband got me pregnant on purpose both times to trap me. He has admitted to this a few times before the divorce. He’s just so slimy and I feel really gross. Can anyone help me reframe this? I want to love myself again after this.

For the record, there was never any inkling that my ex was like this before and after we were married. It has only come out recently.