I don't know if I want you to come back
I miss you. I love you. I think about you every single day, almost the entire day. I've been sad every day since you left. I talked about you in therapy yesterday and I cried.
The way you've treated me isn't fair. You refuse to see any point of view but your own, so I don't think there's anything I could say to change your mind. I don't even think if I caved to your unreasonable demands that things would have been better. I think you just would have wanted more, and you would have never trusted me again anyway.
But I never lied. I never misled you. I never did anything that should have damaged your trust.
I can't change the decisions I made (and didn't make) in the past, but I can change how I behave going forward. And I have. I've taken this seriously from the beginning but you don't want to see that. You refuse to believe it.
Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved me. Because people who love each other are understanding when mistakes are made. But now you're stonewalling me when we should be together.
I miss you. I miss when things were good. I miss holding your hand and kissing you and making you feel good. You were special to me and I can't imagine replicating the exact way it made me feel when we were together.
I can't go an hour without you snaking your way into my head.
I'm not even angry. I'm just sad and I want things to go back to how they were and for you to understand and believe me.
I love you. I loved you. I don't want this to be goodbye but you haven't spoken to me in days.