Struggling after rupture
I’m a 47y/o female who had a ruptured brain aneurysm with subarachnoid hemorrhage late Dec. Aneurysm was coiled and mris look good. Cognitively and physically I’m doing remarkably well. Back at work (from home) since March and generally living life like I did before. EXCEPT, I feel awful. Anxiety, jitters, jumpy, and I feel like I’m just going through the motions, not really “in” life. My dr. says my nervous system is dysregulated and it will take time to heal. I wake up gasping for air and feel anxiety all day. Some days I can shower and put on a brave face but it’s always a performance. I tried an SSRI for 16 days and the activation was intense/awful so my dr took me off it. I know I should be so grateful to be alive but this kind of life is torture. I never feel relaxed or at peace. I don’t know why I’m even posting this, but I’m kind of at my wits end and don’t know what to do/think. Wondering if anyone else can relate and I would appreciate any advice.