I’m a mother of two, my 19 year old daughter and my 13 year old son. My daughter still lives at home and is studying in college, so thankfully, she’s not showing any signs of leaving anytime soon.
Lately, though, I’ve been noticing some concerning changes in her behavior. She has been eating very little, and there have been frequent arguments in the family, especially over food and dinner. Just yesterday, I caught her in a lie. She told me that we had white bread, but I knew we had switched to brown bread a while ago. Then today, she claimed she ate chocolate after going to the store with her brother, but he later told me she didn’t buy anything except some calorie-free water.
I’m really worried because she’s losing a lot of weight. I’ve told her she doesn’t need to lose any more, but she doesn’t seem to be listening. She has a job and school to manage, and I’m concerned this could start affecting her responsibilities. I’m also worried she might be lying about eating when she’s out of the house, whether she’s at college or work. She tells me she’s eaten, but I’m starting to doubt it.
Last year, I asked her if she had an eating disorder, and she firmly denied it, almost shouting "no." But now I feel even more lost, unsure of what to do or say to help her. I don’t want her to go down a dangerous path, but I’m at a loss for how to intervene. She’s also been walking home from college, which is an hour away, rather than driving, and she’s been going on long, aimless walks for no reason.
As a mother, it’s heartbreaking to watch her struggle, and I feel helpless. I just want her to be okay and to start taking better care of herself**. am i wrong for constantly monitoring her secretly?**