Sick of ocd taking things i love from me!!!!
so i (f16) have pretty bad gender ocd that's been getting worse due to a ton of stressors and bs in my life (and even that in itself is an attack on something i love, being a woman is such a core part of me and i wouldn't change it for the world). anyway, just now i tried listening to my favorite band, soundgarden, and i can't even listen and enjoy it because all my stupid brain can think is, "what if you love this music so much because a man is singing and you secretly wanna be a man?" ITS SO STUPID 😭😭 music is everything to me i love rock with my whole heart im so annoyed this condition is even getting in the way of THAT. and to add to that i've been getting thoughts while playing my guitar (another thing i ❤️) like, "is this a masculine activity? what does that mean?" even though it so OBVIOUSLY is not a gendered activity!!! not any of the shit our brains make us worry about is rational... just a little venting lol im finally getting ocd help for the first time monday though so wish me luck 🍀