Need advice
So just to give some context: I am Asian and I married a white guy. Before we got married I met his mom just during holidays and he would meet her once a month for lunch. I on the other hand lived with my mom and am very close to her. My husband was aware that in my culture parents stay with their children when they get old. He on the other hand never mentioned anything of that sorts.
After I got married we moved 500 miles away due to work and my MIL began visiting us more often and would offer to help if we needed it.
But things just changed after my baby was born. She stayed in our home for over a month, even though my mom was already there to help out. She kept insisting she wants to help even though all I wanted after delivery was some alone time with my baby and husband. Now my baby is 3 months old and for the past 2 months she keeps telling my husband and me that she wants come help, even though my mom is here till summer.
When she was here after my delivery she told my mom that she has plans to stay with me and my husband or buy a place close to us. She said she discussed it with my husband, even though my husband said they had no such discussion. When my mom said she also plans to live near me , my MIL responded : “oh but aren’t ur sisters and other family members in asia?”
I don’t feel comfortable when my MIL is here for long periods as she fills our fridge up with whatever she likes, does whatever she wants, sits next to me and my husband on the couch while we watch our tv show after dinner (literally the only time we get to spend and cuddle each other). It feels like she comes to visit us for her own entertainment. For context she is divorced and retired last year.
I don’t know how to set boundaries. Because I have told her multiple times that I am doing fine and I don’t need her help but she doesn’t stop. I have told my husband she is free to come visit for short periods but I don’t know why she has a fantasy where she wants to live with us and “help us”. I feel like she is trying to compete with my mom and cannot stand the fact that my mom stays with me for a few months out of the year.