u/Dull_Revolution_9952

what title says

(21m) My whole life, since I was 10 years old, people have told me that I have potential to be great. I had good grades while hardly studying. My math teachers told me that I always find smart solutions, think outside the box, and that I have the word “potential.” My family told me that. My brother, who is a researcher, told me that. My teachers in university are still telling me that.

But I never saw it in myself. All I ever thought (and still think) I’m good at is damage control. I’m lazy, addicted to por-nography and entertainment, unorganized, with no work ethic, and I suffer from brain fog. I thrive under chaos or when there’s a tight deadline, but if it’s anything else, I can’t bring myself to work.

I get majorly depressed, anxious, and full of self-loathing all the time. I’m turning 22 in the next couple of months, and even though I’ve tried a lot of things to fix this problem (read books, read res-earch, and tried to apply it but failed). I still feel stuck between what everyone says I could be and what I keep proving to myself I am.