So I just realized that I got bullied by my supervisor at my last job.
And idk what to do anymore. Since the beginning of dawn I`ve been actively bullied or outcasted.
It`s in fact so bad that I don't even know when I am being outcasted cause thats all I know.
I`ve tried everything. Being myself, being not myself. The result is always the same.
I am still confident (even though lately I`ve lost a lot of it.) But I still want to be socially accepted by at least some people.
I don`t even know what makes me such a good target for gossip since I am perceived as confident. Maybe it`s because people always get to a point where they think there is something "off" with me.
I try to always see the other persons point of view but I never receive the same kind of treatment.
It makes me wonder if I am really such an awful person to be around or if I am just in the wrong country. (I live in a conservative country and being different is rather frowned upon.)
From a more selfish kind of view I would say, people just feel triggered by something about me that makes them feel unconsciously...caught? So they try to protect themselves from me. This sounds like a rather ridiculous reason but the most reasonable for me.
To add I am also a young woman who speaks more monotone and I am not very expressive and I can communicate well. I know I wouldn`t face so much backlash if I was a man or an older woman. So therefore I am always viewed as rude, opinionated, lazy. Also I think people think I do things on purpose all the time.
But I am just disabled and sometimes just don`t know things or when I do something wrong. But I am always open for feedback.
Since I always adapt or try to be reasonable and others are able to be more themselves and I`ve been my whole life in a constant state of discomfort.