u/Dull-Choice8514

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I (31F) was talking to this guy (35M) from a dating app for about 3 months. It wasn’t super serious and we weren't looking for a relationship, but we were consistently chatting and I did enjoy the attention and having someone new to talk to.

At first chatting everyday, no promises to meet up, everything was cool- he just wanted someone to talk to, same here. But then when the possibility of us meeting up came, the dynamic was kind of shifted.

He would reply within like 2 days max, but his messages were often a bit dry and I felt like I was the one keeping the conversation going most of the time. On my end, I’ll admit I sometimes replied late too — like a few days, and at most around a week — but that was mainly because I was traveling and in different time zones at that time.

Recently, I replied to his message and he just… never responded. It’s been around 14 days. During that time, he was still watching my stories, which honestly annoyed me. I felt confused and a bit anxious, and eventually decided to let it go. I even removed him from my followers and unfollowed him because I wanted to move on and stop overthinking.

Now, after those 14 days, he suddenly messaged.

No acknowledgment of the gap or anything.

Now I’m conflicted.

On one hand, I don’t really want to talk to him anymore because the inconsistency already made me feel bad, and I don’t want to go back into that cycle.

On the other hand, I feel a bit guilty not replying because I also took time to reply in the past, and I don’t like the idea of “ghosting” someone.

If I’m being honest, I think I miss the feeling of having someone new to talk to more than I actually miss him.

So I’m not sure what to do:

\- Do I just ignore the message and move on?

\- Or do I send a simple reply and see what happens?

Would appreciate outside perspectives because I feel a bit stuck between logic and emotion right now.

reddit.com
u/Dull-Choice8514 — 14 days ago

Met him on an online dating app while travelling in abroad but never met in person yet. Basically we're both not looking for a relationship but more of someone to talk to.

Chatted regularly, about random everyday stuff, almost like making a new acquaintance. Found out I was going back to his country in a few months and he asked if I was interested to hook up. I said if the logistics allow it I'm not against it. (Also he knows that I've never hooked up before, I said I might even want to go the whole way and he said it's fine- I feel like a part of me just wants to experience it because he's the first guy who said he's sexually attracted to me).

After, I went on a long trip and wasn't able to reply as much since I was in a different timezone. He left me on read for half a month before replying a dry reply.

I think I miss the attention (in general, not him specifically) and want to reply back but I've already restricted his account and I've been overthinking stuff too much.

Should I reply and get sucked into the loop of will he leave again or just leave it be and protect my peace?

reddit.com
u/Dull-Choice8514 — 14 days ago