​
To summarise
Together 16 years, married 12. M39 F35
4 kids ages 9 to 16, love them to bits.
Shes been a SAH mum for the last 10 years. I earn £46k a year.
18 months ago she got drunk on a night out and cheated on me with a stranger in a park while walking home. This was October 2024, she decided to tell me on new years day 2025.
For the kids sakes i stayed, I was extremely upset and betrayed but decided to stay and together and try and move on.
March 2025, she very casually brings up, would I like an open marriage which I said no and it caused a massive argument.
April and this is embrassing to admit.... I think I was an emotional wreck and the lowest I've ever felt trying to put a brave face on, I told her she can sleep with someone once as a 1 time pass to get it out her system and then it never happens again.
Obviously she jumps at the chance, all lovey dovey with me again. The day she left to meet up with this man I think I completely died on the inside and I haven't been myself since....
Anyway... she goes ahead and does that, promises me that's it and she appreciates me ect
Last 12 months or so I felt like I was slowly turning a corner and everything was gonna be fine...
Last week she came back from a girls night out, pretty much passes out in our bed with her phone still on with a message to a guy on snap chat. My heart sank and all that dread and pain came rushing back.
I went through her phone and found out she was talking to at least 2 guys, both very sexual and exchanging pictures of each other aswell as lots of voice messages to and from each other.
I used my phone and video most of both chats which have been going on for at least 6 months, I also found a voice message I recorded with my wife basically telling this guy if he ever is in our area nothing would stop her from 'playing him 'like a violin'
Crazy thing is im so numb I dont even know if im upset.
Due to what happened last year I have almost already paid of all our debts, I've cancelled any subscriptions trying to get our finances ready should she ever cheat on me again... im so glad I did!!!
Im 40 in September, we should be debt free and have about £5000 savings, my birthday present to myself this year will be showing her the evidence and telling her i want a divorce!!!
Sadly because we rent from a housing association, im sure it will be me leaving in which case looking at my options im going to have to find a house share near me as I dont think ill be able to afford to live on my own for a while.
Sorry for the vent, at least im finally ready to look to the future.