u/Due_Scholar1920

I’m just curious, I was seeing this guy and early on I suggested we use protection. He never really took initiative to get any so eventually I just adapted and would only visit him on my safe days. It felt like we had some level of trust so I didn’t push it too hard at the time.

But one day I found condoms at his place.(That day we didn't use any and before you get confused , we weren't exclusive and I had evidence some girl was here)

Like you can buy them just not when it comes to me? Why? It made me wonder what the difference was. Is it comfort ,laziness ,different standards depending on the person or something worse, like he’s more careful with others than with me?

What’s confusing is that I didn’t even feel unsafe, I trusted him but seeing that made me question things after the fact. It’s not even about the condoms anymore..

Why would someone act like this? Is it a red flag, guys tell me

Projection, plus how it shows up in people more than we realize.

What is projection? { b: the attribution of one's own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects

especially : the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety}. (From Merriam Webster Dictionary )

What’s been sitting with me is how someone can be so convinced about what another is thinking or doing and most times it rarely feels like it’s actually about the other person. It's like something else is being played out through them.

Like people don’t always see you directly, they interpret you through whatever they’re carrying inside. And the mind? The mind becomes quick to protect itself like that, it turns that discomfort felt inside into outer certainty

You notice it, you realize some conversations aren’t really about you at all. They’re about the person speaking just disguised as you.

Most times people who project just want to create a perception about themselves in your mind, this is to control what you need to know about them.

Have I said enough ?

It’s probably late for this but here goes, projection, how it shows up in people more than we realize.

What is projection? { b: the attribution of one's own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects

especially : the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety}. (From Merriam Webster Dictionary )

What’s been sitting with me is how someone can be so convinced about what another is thinking or doing and most times it rarely feels like it’s actually about the other person. It's like something else is being played out through them.

Like people don’t always see you directly, they interpret you through whatever they’re carrying inside. And the mind? The mind becomes quick to protect itself like that, it turns that discomfort felt inside into outer certainty

You notice it, you realize some conversations aren’t really about you at all. They’re about the person speaking just disguised as you.

Have I said enough ?

Edit: Most times people who project just want to create a perception about themselves in your mind, this is to control what you need to know about them.