My partner doesn’t reach out, check in or initiate conversation much anymore.
Before anyone asks if I’ve tried to communicate or have conversations about this, I have.. And it normally ends in me feeling like I still have to be the one to lead or initiate everything. It’s been triggering my bpd symptoms and I hate the feeling of all of it.
We’ve been together for a few years now, and things used to be different.
My gf doesn’t reach out to me about anything anymore, unless I ask or reach out to her first.
She hasn’t reciprocated or initiated saying that she loves me in well over a month.
She doesn’t ask to or suggest hanging out with me, and always seems to have plans with her friends.
She doesn’t message me first in the morning anymore, and will always wait until I do - which sometimes I won’t message her if it’s super early, cus I don’t wanna wake her.
We could have a whole day or a few go by, without ever reaching out to eachother unless I do it first.
Her birthday came along not long not long ago, to which I tried to celebrate with her but she didn’t seem happy or up for it, saying that she doesn’t enjoy birthdays much (which i’m okay with, birthdays were never my thing either). But then went and flaunted over the fact it was her birthday to everyone else.
Every time i’ve tried to ask or bring something up about any of it, I get hit with a wimsy response like “oh don’t worry it’s nothing!!” vibe, or just tells me she hasn’t been talking to anyone much, and moves on from it.
I end up believing i’m just being silly and overthinking it.
I have rare times where I get depressed, which I have my own coping mechanisms for even when i’m alone, one of those times being yesterday. She never checked in with me once.
Which has been a common thing where she hasn’t been checking in on me or shown interest in how i’m doing, unless I do it first.
She was gaming with her friends (which she’s done a lot of over the last month), while we haven’t hung out much or at all.
We made the plan to hang out today; which she’s yet to reach out to me about, and most of the day has already gone by already.. I really don’t think she’s going to reach out unless I do, and the thing is I don’t want to be the one initiating everything first anymore.
I want to feel wanted for once.
My mind fking hurts and everything just aches, and I don’t wanna feel this way.
Maybe I am just overthinking and doing this to myself.