u/Duckling987

When is bad enough to leave for the sake of the children and when is “good enough” to stay and try to work on it instead?

We have been together since we were teenagers and now have two children under the age of five. The relationship has been up and down basically all the time. We have gone to therapy together and a part. Some things is better.

Otherwise, he sometimes loses his temper, even in front of the children. Raises his voice and becomes unpleasant, sometimes condescending. Acts like an idiot. But sometimes it also goes really well and we can talk and discuss things without him being like that. He can see and hear me, etc. He is not the most supportive and that has been something we talked about alot. He have hurt me many times over this and acted selfish. He tries to be better.

He is a good father, but even with the children he can sometimes lose his temper and sound condescending. For example, "why can't you just..?!" "Can you just understand?!" "be quiet!!”. Something he says he understands is bad and is working on.

I just don't know. It's good sometimes, pretty bad sometimes and sometimes just distant and the atmosphere is unpleasent. I'm just confused.

I dont know when its time to call divorce. I dont want to for alot of reasons, but at the same time this right now is not great either. Advice?