Feeling like a breeding machine
As the title says, I feel like the church just treats me as a breeding machine. The emphasis on women's-main-purpose-is-to-have-kids gets pretty harmful to my mental health. And before anybody tells me to speak with a priest, I already spoke with my priest and he just told me to stop worrying and that God wouldn't help but to pray anyway. I see priests online encouraging large families and harmful behaviors, like suggesting that older kids look after younger ones. My priest told me that once I became my mother i'd feel some maternal instinct but im currently pregnant and feel nothing but destain for my baby. I've spoken with medical professionals and they tell me that how I feel is normal and that I should get an abortion, which I can't due to faith. I've spoken with my priest, and he says that there's something horribly wrong with woman who don't bond immediately, despite what my medical professionals say. I'm at a loss of who to listen to, the priest or my medical professionals. I was already at a very bad time in my life and begging God to even just give me a glimmer of hope but instead he gave me a (unintentional) pregnancy that I hate. Me and my husband are struggling extremely financially, and everybody keeps telling us that God will provide, but he's not providing us good insurance for the baby nor is he providing me any good mental health. I'm at a loss and feel like God is just ignoring me and kicking me while I'm down. Even the virgin Mary is revered only because she gave birth. And online, it just seems even worse like every priest and Orthodox Christian just wants me to stay home and be a breeding machine. I'm a person with hopes and dreams, not just a birthing machine but the church seems to not care and just wants me to push out babies until I drop and its hurtful
edit: thank you all for the kind words, support, and wisdom, I appreciate it a lot especially in these difficult times