Hey everyone. I've had repressed memories of csa come back to me about three months ago, and slowly I'm starting to remember more. It fucking blooooows. My life is turned upside down and some days I barely function.
I was wondering how this process has been for other survivors who recovered repressed memories later in life. How did you go through the initial stages of remembering, and what has changed throughout time? What was it like for you? Were you also completely overwhelmed at times, or were you able to handle it with the support of someone else?
As for myself, I'm (31F) currently in the initial 'crisis' stage where every other day something random may just unlock a memory/flashback. It sucks and it catches me off guard most of the time (even though I'm slowly getting used to it as well). Sometimes I'm just trying to do groceries. Other times it's just a writing exercise, and suddenly BOOM, flashbacks/memories/pieces of new information about my childhood I didn't know, followed by major somatic responses or panic attacks. Good times..... It's so disruptive and sometimes I feel like I'm just being 'lived by' my cptsd. Other days are just fine, and then somehow I completely break down sobbing on the floor for hours at night. It's all just very confusing and I'm trying to accept that this is what it is for now...
Hearing from other survivors who recovered repressed memories and their recovery experiences is really helpful for me right now, because it makes me feel less like an actual crazy person, even though I wouldn't wish this on anyone else. Thanks in advance!