wanting to get even fatter again but hates food? anyone else go thru this?
Well this is an ed thing right? Havent seen anyone mention the other side of an ed, yk the overeating yourself to death part. im >!5'0!< and weighed >!170!< because id constantly eat and eat and eat. Back in july i decided enough is enough and with trial and error ive finally managed to make it to >!146!< lbs (my dream goal is >!120!<).
the thing is, is that im actually terrified to lose weight. i want to go straight to the kitchen and binge eat everything in sight and become fatter than i was before and it makes me sick. hell i wish i developed anorexia, but thats fucked to say. I want to eat so bad but im so repulsed by food right now like wtf is happening to me? im starving, but just the thought of the scale going up is freaking me out. but i also WANT it to go up. im going insane pls tell me theres someone who can relate at least a littlr