Okay, so my kids’ dad does mornings, and he does an amazing job. He gets our daughter ready and drops her off at school, then watches our son while I catch up on some extra sleep because I mostly handle the housework (SAHM life). He does it all so effortlessly, and the kids are always happy with him. I love that.
Well, he works nights, so I do afternoons, and honestly, I’m struggling. I feel like my daughter hates me sometimes. She’s turning 5 next month, but I always feel like the “bad cop.” When I pick her up from school, she’ll ask for a Happy Meal or a Lunchable, and she eats that stuff more than she should. I usually give in maybe once a week, but when I say no, she cries, and then I have to explain why, and it turns into this whole thing.
Then we get home, and I clean and cook, but she doesn’t want the food. By that point, my patience is low, and I’m drained from doing everything on top of trying to find time for myself. Then bedtime comes, and she hates bedtime. She cries and cries because she doesn’t want to listen to the nighttime music I put on to help her relax and not stay up late. If I let her, she would literally stay up until 1 a.m. lol.
I also have a 1 year old who is kind of a daredevil. I constantly have to make sure he’s not doing something that could hurt him. He’s lowkey just a wild child lol.
I feel like I’m the “no fun” parent. Everything feels so chaotic. I’m always yelling and always the one saying “no.” Today I was just completely fed up with everything, and I got really upset with both of them I think to the point where I scared them.
I put my daughter down for bed and said the usual, “Goodnight, I love you,” and she didn’t say it back. It hurt me so bad. The only thing I could say in that moment was, “Okay, well, you don’t love me,” and it made her cry even more lol. It made me cry too 😭
She eventually came to me, said it back, and apologized. But I always tell her she doesn’t have to apologize when Mommy is just expressing herself the only way she knows how.
And before you guys jump down my throat, I have been to therapy for my anxiety and anger, and I’m on Wellbutrin. One of the common side effects is agitation.
I really just came here to rant because I feel like a bad mom. I’m trying so hard to be a good one, but sometimes I feel horrible at this job. I love my kids so much, but I hate that they have a mom who struggles with mental health problems. It sucks. Also me saying “I guess you don’t love me” was very manipulative of me my mind didn’t even have time to react I just said it I do feel guilty and I don’t usually do things like that idk she always say I love you and when she didn’t I just blurted it out it will never happen again. I’m not that type of woman