Is my boyfriend being truthful
I (23f) have been dating my boyfriend (33m) for a little over a year. There is a lot of context that goes into this sorry and I’m gonna spew out details in order to not get this overly lengthy without leaving out context. Our first interactions were solely friendship based which I was content with we both worked at the same restaurant. He proceeded to get drunk one night and tell me he likes me but can’t because he has herpes. I thought at the time he was joking because the way he said it seemed very sarcastic and humorous. I just recently got out of a long term relationship and I knew he was very sexual promiscuous which led me away from him to begin with because I’ve only slept with 3 people. The only reason me and him were ever in close proximity was solely because I would give him rides home because he lost his license to a DUI. None of this pointed to interest with me. He was broke lived with his parents 5,6 and bald. I love his personality he is hilarious and we used to have great conversations with each other sober. Rides home became going to the bar and going to the bar led to drunken make outs which was fine by me as long as it didn’t lead to me. One night during the Super Bowl we got extremely drunk and ended up having sex, the fear that rushed over me was terrifying and I was petrified I got herpes. I didn’t and then we pushed our luck by continuing a sexual relationship. That is where I wanted the relationship to stay because I was only single so little in my life and I finally wanted to be free and since I had the prior knowledge of him never dating I thought this situation would be perfect. He proceeded to want a relationship with over the next 2 months. He slowly got more drunk and made a fool of himself and let me know more things about himself. It was then when I started to notice he was definitely an alcoholic and was a past heroin addict. Concerned with this I pulled away yet he reassured me that it wasn’t that bad and I was foolish and all of this is completely my fault. Then when he would drink he would say weird things like “I’ve done some gay shit” I heard this once or twice thinking he was trying to be funny or maybe made out with a guy? I don’t know i definitely didn’t think too much until I started asking. This is where the questions comes in I guess he used to get drunk and go on grinder and have sex with “trans women” “femboys” and sometimes “men that looked like men” when he was drunk and did coke as well. This grossed me out if I’m being honest. He told me it wasn’t a preference it was simply the fact that men are easy and he could easily have sex. I soon found out his body contact was over 100 and he spelt with mostly men. This bothered me a lot. I’m not homophobic but I don’t wanna sleep with men that sleep with men. He told me he lost his virginity to a man on craigslist when he was 17 and the man was much older that he blocked it out and it makes him feel gross. He also told me that one time when he has a sleep over with a friend at 10-12 I don’t remember they played with each others penises. I don’t think this is normal he swears up and down that he likes women more and it’s solely an ease of access thing. He also isn’t sure if he got molested by his uncle so maybe any of these point lead to trauma. He never bottomed but did give oral sex when felt pressured. I have asked a lot of questions trying to get over this and he says a beard is more masculine than a penis which I simply don’t believe. This is a lot of context I’m not really sure what is or isn’t important I wanted to put it all out there. Stupid me got pregnant and he tried to get sober and relapsed 9 times during my pregnancy. Once during he went on a bender and did coke. I found out he tried cheating on me with people he meant on grinder unblocking them and readded them. He didn’t redownload grinder that time but he tried to meet people and was unsuccessful. Later once the baby was born he went on another bender download grinder and meant up with a man and tried to cheat but couldn’t get hard from head. I don’t understand any of this. I’m been told my whole life I’m attractive I have always been treated well this has been the worst year of my life on my self worth. I wanna believe he can change and he doesn’t prefer men over me buts I feel like he does. Do you believe you can do all these things and be happy with a women your whole life.