Hey everyone, could really use some outside perspective.
I (23M) dated this girl (21F) for about 5 months over the summer into October, and honestly it was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Things felt real, we were talking all the time, saying “I love you,” the whole thing. When summer ended, we had to do long distance (about a 2 hour flight), and I even went to visit her in October.
About 3 weeks after that visit, she told me some guy had flirted with her and basically said she couldn’t do long distance anymore. It felt super sudden, like going from “I love you” to nothing. When I told her that didn’t sit right with me, she blocked me on everything. No contact at all.
Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago, she randomly unblocks me just to say she’ll be in my town. I ignored it. Then she and her friends showed up at the same bar I was at. I’m still cool with some of her friends, so they came over and said hi. I kept it simple with her and just said “it’s good to see you,” even though I still think about her a lot.
She didn’t like how chill I was trying to be about it and kind of jokingly spanked me with her flip flop, we ended up laughing, and I took her home. Since then, we’ve been talking again.
But it’s different now. Before, it was constant communication. Now it’s more inconsistent, and I can tell she doesn’t feel the same way she used to, even though she says things are “fine” and that she doesn’t want to lose me.
Complicating things, I’m moving to New York at the end of July, and she has to stay another semester at school because she failed some classes.
Some of my friends are telling me to just ghost her and move on, but I don’t think I can do that. I still care about her a lot.
Is this me setting myself up for failure again?
Appreciate any advice.