Let me start by saying I stumbled upon the Gateway experience tapes about 5 years ago and I was very intrigued. I have had a lot of trauma in my life starting at a very young age and a lot of loss. Unfortunately the people around me that were still alive either hid the truth from me, Or they had no idea what really happened. This caused a whole bunch of pent up rage, sadness and mostly questions. I have always been slightly intuitive and experienced very vivid dreams and had the ability to control them for the most part so I believed that it may work for me.
The first couple times trying it, I didn't get deep enough into it, but I kept trying. When I got to the Lift off on Wave III is when things started to actually happen.
My father had died in a car accident when I was 6 years old. He was hit head on by a logging truck when his vehicle hit black ice and slid into oncoming traffic on the side of a mountain. Leading up to his death there was some things happening between he and my mom where he was accused of infidelity. The night before he died they had a big fight and my mom had threatened to divorce him and take me back east to be near her family. I always wondered if he did it on purpose because when the police arrived 15 minutes after the accident happened, they found no evidence of ice on the roadway. I also spent years trying to track down this mistress, to no avail. I would spend hours searching. Finding nothing but I knew her first name. Susan. When I went into Wave III I set my intention to get the answers I had longed for, for 25 years. Boy did I get them.
I ended up in a place I had never been before. It appeared as though it was the shoreline of a lake or an ocean. The shore was made of small shimmering obsidian like pebbles that shifted under my weight. The water that lined the shore was as black as oil. It was calm and made no movement. The sky and all around me was the blackest black I have ever encountered and as I turned around with my back towards the water, I saw him standing there. I wept. I melted into his embrace and after a moment, my dad looked into my eyes and said "you shouldn't be here, you cant be here yet". I just responded by saying.... "I need to know" I instantly woke with tears rolling down my face and I deleted the program. Feeling hopeless and more damaged than I was before I pushed the experience away and went on with my life.
Two weeks later I received a message from an aunt I had no contact with for years. She told me she had a box of pictures for me that she wanted me to have and I met her to get them. When I got them home it took me a while to actually open the box but when I did I realized it was EVERYTHING. Every school picture my dad had ever had taken, his yearbook, his baby book which I was told was destroyed in a fire. Pictures of family I hadn't seen in years, pictures of my dad and I, our family bible from the late 1800's. All these things I was told no longer existed because my dads childhood home burned down when he was in high school. Yet there they were. Letters from my dad to my grandma from when he was in bootcamp for the Navy, but the thing that hit me the hardest was pictures from his accident. The truck was unrecognizable. All that remained was a completely burned frame that was mangled. I cried looking at those photos probably harder than I cried at his funeral. I knew the truth though... he didnt look perfect as I was told when they identified his body... I had no doubt he was cremated before he even reached the mortuary. It was hard but I held onto those things like I had a piece of peace. Even if it wasnt much. It also reignited my search for the mistress.
Two weeks after that a friend of mine who I had mentioned this to calls me, completely out of the blue. She tells me the craziest thing happened and I needed to sit down. She goes on to say while she was at her daughters open house she was approached by one of the other moms at the charter school. The woman asked if she was friends with me and used my maiden name. At first she didnt know who she was talking about but eventually it clicked. The woman goes on to say that she had a relationship with MY FATHER and she had been trying to reach out to me over the years but she was so scared. She knew I lived here and she knew my name and she knew we were friends. She goes on to say she has some things that I should have and she would like to meet me if I would be willing. Her name was Susan.
The first thing that goes through my head is WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? the second is, DOES SHE MEAN ME HARM? Why now? 25 Years later? Has she been watching me? Is she a stalker? does she want to kill me? so many thoughts flooded my mind. I waited a week. Then I reached out. Walking into the restaurant my stomach was in knots but as soon as I saw her I remembered her striking blue eyes. "You look just like him" she said as I sat down at the table. We ordered coffees; the air in the room seemed strange like I was living in a dream. She told me I could ask her anything and I didn't even know where to start so she did. She told me that she and my dad went to school together and were great friends. Her best friend was dating my dad and when he went away to boot camp they broke up. After writing letters back and fourth they realized they really cared about each other and began a relationship. When he came back they were together but unfortunately my dad ended up going away to war in the Persian Gulf. When he returned state side he was in Norfolk VA, which is where he met my mom at a bar on the pier. He knocked her up and he moved her back with him to the west coast. When Susan saw him again he showed up married with a baby on the way. Me.
Though they tried to stay away from each other the love they shared was still there and so the affair began. The day before he died she told him he needed to make a decision. He could not have both. I believe that is what the fight was about the night before he died. Susan found out on the news the next morning he had been killed. She gave me a bag that had his obsidian ring he bought during the war and a tape player with a tape of him singing different songs (he had an amazing voice and loved to sing) his death notice, some newspaper clippings of him from random articles related to his business and greatest of all closure. I asked her why now after all of these years? She said she felt like he was pushing her to do it... it was all she could think about. It needed to be done. That day walking out of the restaurant, a warm breeze blew and it was filled with the a peace I had never experienced before. The dull ache I had at the thought of him faded and was replaced with semblance of solace.
I haven't used Hemi-sync since but i will say, I am definitely more intuitive. I can easily read people now and sometimes I sense things before they happen. My dreams have become even more vivid and sometimes extremely scary. Most of them are dreams about future events... Or maybe events happening in real time in other timelines. I am not sure. What I do know is, the things that have happened are miraculous. I have 0 explanation other than that I do believe it works. Its just crazy to me that instead of getting answers within Hemisync, they played out in my physical life.
I hope you all find the answers you seek. <3