I (20f) no longer live with my mom and we've grown kinda distant in the last few years. There's several reasons for that. She's disappointed in my relationship with her husband and my half siblings. She's disappointed I moved out when I turned 18. She's disappointed in me for not offering more help. I dislike how much babysitting she has expected out of me and I'm really surprised and kind of let down by some of the things she expected to happen when she got married again.
For some context I was 14 when she married Derek (her husband). My half siblings are 5, 4 and 2. My dad died when I was 11 and my mom and dad lost my older brother when he was 5 months old. He was a preemie and spent his whole life in the NICU before he got sick with an infection that was too much for his body. I don't remember him but my parents told me about him and mom used to have photos of him displayed at home. My mom took them down because she feared it would traumatize my half siblings seeing him look so sick their whole lives, which is weird to me because she didn't worry when it was me.
Ever since I turned 18 my mom has been on my ass harder than ever about babysitting my half siblings. It was a problem even before then because I tried really hard to get out of babysitting when I was a minor still living at home, but it's even worse now because I'm an adult and she thinks I should be mature enough to offer and be willing to babysit when needed.
If she had her way I would be babysitting 5x a month. She asks every weekend and every third Wednesday because it's like an anniversary thing for her and Derek. I always say no. My mom gets mad every time I say no and she wants a good reason for me to say no or she tells me I should just do it. She told me babysitting is what people in families do and she told me I should want to do it because it means helping her and spending time with my half siblings.
Sometimes money or food is offered but other times I'm expected to do it for free. I just don't want to babysit and I have told her this more times than I want to think about. She thinks it's selfish and unkind to not agree even one time. She even had Derek ask me a few times and she was mad I'd tell him no because he stepped up and blah blah blah.
AITAH?