What will you do on your breakdown :’(
It’s my fifth year leaving my comfort country to a whole new country. I used to be an extrovert in my own country, but I slowly realised I’ve become more introverted… like I just want to go home as fast as I can after work, and I feel scared to meet new people. My circle here is mostly made up of my high school friends.
Go back to my own country every year and I always feel so excited, but once I land and spend some time there, I start to feel like I don’t belong anymore. It feels strangely familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. The places I used to hang out with my friends have all closed down, and every time I go back, they’ve already moved on to new hangout spots. I’ve missed out many of their stories, their ups and downs…
And in this country where I’ve been building my life, it’s the opposite. This environment is something I’ve actively built, my work, my friends, my rhythm are all here. But emotionally, there are times when I feel like I haven’t really been fully absorbed into it.
My friends here, we live in different places, we don’t meet often. Some of them have started their own families, businesses, and are living their best lives here. It’s weird that I can speak the language and live the life, but a part of me is still operating on a different cultural breathing pattern.
I feel SO STUCK, I’ve no idea should I go back or stay here. I don’t know where happiness is supposed to feel real for me anymore…..
How do you overcome this feeling….