u/Dry-Trade-3346

Hi All. I have just discovered in the past year that my 21 year old son has most likely been misdiagnosed his whole life with ADHD/Anxiety. I believe he is on the spectrum and I need some advice. He lives with me and is currently on Lexapro that he only takes when I remind him to take it. He has never been diagnosed with Aspergers/Autism and that is what I am working on now but he is completely out of control. He cannot live with my ex husband (we tried that and it was a nightmare). For the past 3 days, he has been staying in his truck in order to go out to a bar where he has gotten hammered. I picked him up two of the nights and last night the bar ordered him an uber. He is not taking his medication and is being very lazy, defiant, rude, not eating, smoking cigarettes and does nothing but scroll on his phone. He has been working for my ex husband and my ex is understandably over it and now my son has no job. I am at a loss. My mother heart cannot kick him out but I still have one child at home and it is really causing issues because she is watching the way he treats me and him doing nothing and it is causing issues between us. I have come to the realization that he cannot live alone, cannot manage his money, has no motivation and might not be able to keep a real job. I am here to get advice as to what I should do. I do not have $3k a month to put him in the apartment type living where they have life coaches/therapists but I really think that might be the best for him. If I would let him, he would sleep all day and just scroll his phone. I am sure others here have been in the same position and I just need some support and help and advice as to what others have done. I am in Houston if anyone has resources here that can help me and who do you suggest I get a correct diagnosis from? Throughout his life he has seen MD's, a neurologist, psychiatrists, he was in a mental health facility last year for about 7 days when he was completely out of control, therapists, psychologists and no one has diagnosed him with aspergers/autism but I am 1000% sure he has this. Thank you so much in advance for any advice you can give. This is a hard road as a parent and I am exhausted.