I'm a 21F and have been using a dating app for just under 6 months now, and have matched with tons of guys. If I have to describe my main issue, I would say its a lack of chemistry/spark.
And I dont feel i have unreasonable expectations of people, like expecting us to click immediately after matching, but what I'm looking for when I conversate with my matches is a similarity in humour (like we find the same things funny), interests, passionate about something and really wants to tell me everything about it, and just someone who wants to really immerse me into their world. I want to feel like I KNOW this person like i've known them for years (even tho I know that's not possible because we're strangers who've met on an app), and know what their day to day life looks like, their hopes and dreams, their opinions on certain things or how they would respond in certain situations. All that is extremely valuable information to me that I kinda wanna know early on like, I hate the "stranger phase" of meeting someone new idk I feel like I like to get DEEP with people fast (probably faster than the average person).
And I'm having this issue because I keep running into guys where conversations dont lend themselves down that path.. and they just remain very boring and surface level. Also they dont initiate conversations often, like i dont like to gameify dating but I do consider someone never initiating a conversation as a measure of how much they like me or want to get to know me. Especially because we're meeting on a dating app and not irl and possibly live a few hours away from each other and so can't see each other all the time, for me to know that you're serious about being with me I have to see the effort of trying to get to know me.. ykwim?
So I was thinking maybe part of the problem is me, I'm a huge texter and im very chatty, and I'm expecting to find myself in other people who may not be texters maybe they're phone call people instead and I should try that? Or I should ride out the boringness and inconsistent texting until we go on a date and then make a decision? (Tbh I have tried that but it was so treacherous for me that talking to that person actually began to feel like a chore). I need advice like what should I do to fix this problem im having?
Edit: I feel like a lot of ppl feel like im just being picky or expecting too much and so maybe i'll give examples of what I'm talking about to give you some insight into what it's like. Usually we match (this is on Bumble I only use Bumble) I already have opening moves btw so I'm hoping the guy notices them and answers them!!! (They dont 🙄) I wait a few hours its getting to the 21 hr mark of time for one of us to send a message or else the match will be lost, so I send a message bc I dont want it to go to waste. We say hi, I talk a little bit i ask them to answer my opening moves which depending on the guy can lead us down a very long conversation for a few hours and detracts from the original thing, some answer the question with one sentence and maybe disappear for a few hours, I ask them a follow up question to delve deeper they come back again to reply with one sentence then disappear again for hours (these ones are the worst). Some we can have a really good chat on the first day and then the next day they initiate a conversation by greeting me and asking me about my day and obviously i say something boring and mundane (bc thats adult life) and then I ask them about theirs and they say something mundane too and then they give up on the conversation and then I try to keep it going by sharing a random thought or asking them a question to which they have nothing more to add. And it honestly feels like pulling teeth and I would rather not continue conversing either. Pls tell me i'm not the only one having this problem..