Hello everyone.
I am a gay man from Iraq, somewhere between 18 and 25 years old. I have never been able to talk about this openly in my life — not with family, not with friends, not with anyone.
Most people don’t know this, but in Iraq being gay is punishable by up to 14 years in prison. There are no organizations to help us. No support groups. No safe spaces. No hotlines to call. Nothing. We are completely alone. If you are gay in Iraq you have two choices — hide forever or face prison, violence, or death.
Growing up there as a gay person means living in complete silence. From childhood, I knew I was different. I liked things others didn’t. I felt things others didn’t. But around me, people cursed gay people every day. Teachers, religious leaders, even my own family. I grew up hearing that people like me deserved to be punished or killed.
I never had one single person I could talk to. I spent years crying alone at night, asking God why I was born this way. I hated myself for a long time because everyone around me told me I was wrong just for existing.
I think about my future every single day. I ask myself — what can I do with my life? Will I always have to hide? Will I ever be able to love freely? Will I ever find people who accept me completely? Is this how my life will be forever?
I just want to know:
— For those of you who went through something similar — what did you do? How did your life change?
— Is there hope for someone like me?
— What advice would you give to a gay person who has never lived one single day freely?
I have never held someone’s hand in public. I have never said out loud that I am gay without fear. I have never had a gay friend or anyone who truly understood me.
I just want to understand what a real life feels like.
Thank you for reading.