I need help but can’t afford therapy
Hi,
I’m a 31 year old man in England, therapy is available but is definitely a luxury expense.
I grew up in a volatile house, my father was a constantly angry and abusive man. My older brother was a heroin addict and is still drug reliant. My mother I wouldn’t say is emotionally unavailable but emotionally immature, probably due to her relationship with my father (at a guess).
I have 2 sisters too, but am not particularly close with either. Other than that my circle is quite small.
On to the main topic, I am in a relationship and I’m expecting our first child later this year, but I see in myself the same anger my father had, tiny things trigger me, I’ve never been violent and have never felt the desire to, I’ve always said my father showed me what not to be as an adult and tried to take the positive out of the mess that was my childhood.
But I can’t help but feel the older I get the more similar I am to him, and I hate it. I’ve always struggled with depression & anxiety, but now I just feel like my emotions are broken and I don’t know what to do.
Anyone have any advice or been in my shoes? Please help.