u/Dry-Flower4967

To be honest, I’m aware of it, as much as I try to avoid and ignore it even with my friends constantly telling me, I hate it, only my best friend understands why I keep up with it because I do love him. The backstory, I liked this guy for around quite some time a few months, we’re still in school but thankfully my friend managed to set us up and it was perfect. First weeks talking were amazing, constant texting and hanging out. Always hanged out during lunch, hell he gave up being a school snack seller to hang out with me, but there was thing that he said the day after we got together during lunch, he didn’t go up to me , my friends asked, he said, “she has to come up to me first” I was noted that he had 3 previous girlfriends, the first one was short, a week, from what I found out it was an elementary relationship, nothing serious and they remained friends, the other two cheated, it was fine, for around a month and a half he came up to me, usually I’d leave the cafeteria and maybe around after a minutes I’d see him walking in our direction so then I’d  leave my friend and we hanged out in the field, it was great, I loved it. Eventually I noticed we started getting out of the “honeymoon phase” I missed it a little but we still hanged out daily. All of a sudden, it’s spring break, that day when it started, I was in a family situation, not to get too much into it but a good amount of my house was damaged and I witnessed a good amount of abuse, I was sobbing, I texted him, a lot, it was 12 in the morning but eventually after he texted me, it was very laid back in a way, “goddamn I’m tried as hell, you woke me up yeah” I began apologizing immediately and said I could save it for another time. We never ended up talking about it. He didn’t talk to me for a week on Instagram which we usually text on, of course I sent him a goodnight and good morning text everyday, no response, eventually I found out he was banned, that cleared up some stuff. But, after spring break, he didn’t come up to me, weird, then he didn’t come up to me for the whole week, I didn’t like going up to him much, his friends were all in a group and I felt like a gazelle going into a Lion cage or something. Eventually I did, I was behind him and his friend told him to look behind him. I casually asked if he wanted to hang out, his response was not what I expected. “No, I’m in a bad mood, I got confeti egged, just go.” I was stunned, his voice was slightly more raised, I stood there until he said, “N-word, I said leave” That’s when I took the hint and turned around and left, my friends had hyped me up to go up to him, the next thing they saw was me crying silently while walking back to them. My friends wanted to beat him up, the next time I went up to him, he was more relaxed and said next week it was a Friday so I understood, I go up to him on Monday, he mentions how his cat got another cat knocked up or smth and said he needs 3 days to recover? I was confused, even my friends found the situation weird. I didnt go to him because he was hanging out with his friends the entire week. I send him good morning and goodnight daily and also usually pics with a selfie, I’m always left on seen, he only responded 3 times throughout the entire month and half, when he told me he got un-banned, with a heart, and when he said he wasn’t going to school, (which when I then tried once helping him by asking if he took any fluids, or medicine, or if he knew why, he just responded with idk, until I then offered in a lengthy sentence wishing him to get better and I could him help him with any classes work. Which he then just said “just stop.”), One time around 2 or more weeks ago, my friend and her guy firend that helped us get together, my friend mentioned to him to tell my bf sort of, he said that my bf said that he still does love me and that he finds our relationship healthy. There’s a few more things but, we haven’t hanged out for a month and almost a half, we’ve been together since feb 20th, my friends constantly tell me I’m the one putting in all the work and to just break up with him, I still really do love him, I don’t want to, I just don’t know how to fix this, I feel weird sending him lovey reels since we haven’t done that since March, even if I send regular reels feels weird, it feels weird asking how his day was since I know he’s pretty dry, I really don’t want to break up but I’ve already thought of scenarios. I honestly don’t know what I’m asking for, I know lots of people are gonna tell me to break up with him, but I honestly don’t want to but don’t know how to save our relationship.