Newbie seeking advice
Hello all,
32m, 30f.
We are both monogamous and considering exploring.... Not non monogamy per se, but we're both adventurous and would have fun finding someone to have fun with a couple times or more.
For about a year my wife and I have talked about potentially having a mff threesome, though it typically ends at "that sounds fun, we can look into it." From her end. About 3 months ago she kind of snapped and I could tell she wasn't feeling a discussion about it, so I apologized, dropped the topic, and let it rest.
Last night we had a discussion about it again, just simply me trying to ascertain what exactly she was feeling about it when she got a bit snippy.
Turns out, as I suspected, it was primarily jealousy and fear that I'd leave her for someone else or that she would mess something up and embarrass herself. I of course comforted her as best I could, stressing that wasn't an option and that anything she felt was fine, healthy, and just needed to be communicated. I Simply explained that I enjoy new experiences, I loved her, and I wasn't trying to find a unicorn for a one night stand and that people don't typically just.... Meet up and bang😂(I don't think, anyways)
We had a good conversation, and I think I explained it a bit better. I guess the term would technically be "dating"? A third person. Meeting up, finding chemistry, hanging out naked, just kind of chilling like we do in our home already but with a third person we both find attractive. basically a FWB type scenario but for all of us to enjoy. She seemed much more understanding and gave herself a deadline of 2 months to find someone she liked.
Thing is, it feels partly forced. She's incredibly submissive and I want it to be something we both enjoy, not an act she performs out of obligation. I have no intention of holding her to that deadline, even if we DID find a unicorn in time.
I do think she would enjoy it, but I don't plan on necessarily bringing it up frequently, due to her hesitancy.
I guess I'm just kind of looking for some advice. We have good communication, I'm not stupid enough to throw away an amazing relationship with an exceptional woman over some fun fling. But I'm not sure exactly where to go from here, if I'm even using the terminology right, or where to begin looking. We did set up a joint 3fun account, but after about 50 swipes it's dry. Is there a better app to look through? Are her reactions normal? I plan on having some follow up discussions before we do ANYTHING, but any tips for newbies would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks!